Jennie's posts with tag: birthday
 Today would have been mom's 58th birthday. It's been three years and miss ko pa din sha. Not a day goes by na hindi ko sha naiisip. I am comforted by the fact that I know she's in a better place and she's looking out for us by Jesus' side. This is one of my favorite pictures of mom. Not only because this was the last picture I took of her, but she looks so contented here. Happy birthday, Ma. I love you.
Finally, after a week of blog non-activity, I'm back. :) Hopefully, this will be a happier post than the last one.Yesterday was my sister's
birthday. There was no big celebration (just like I want mine to be
:D), we just cooked spaghetti and pizza and shared it as a family.
Yumm...As of today, it looks like our annual swimming trip is
going to push through. I've spoken with two of my aunts over the
weekend about it. I'm going to my tita's house tomorrow and we're going
to plan it. Yey!Some friends and I are also planning a trip to
Puerto Galera, sometime in May. I hope it pushes through, coz the last
time we went on a beach sojourn was three years ago. :) It's about time.If both swimming trips pushes through, I'm preparing myself for patong-patong na sunburn.
Woohaha! No biggie though. I can jsut stock up on Papaya soap and I'll
be back to my normal coloring in no time at all. Besides, the trip and
the company would be worth it.My birthday is exactly six days away.Six days until I hit the big 30.Yikes!Honestly though, I don't feel like I'm gonna be 3 decades old. Sana, I
don't look like it, too. Hahaha! The only time I feel older is when I
see my younger cousins and the siblings of my friends. That's when I
notice how big they are now, when I can still remember them in diapers.
Nyak!It doesn't bother me that I'm getting older. What bothers
me is when people ask the never-ending question: "When are you getting
married?" Goodness! I think the whole time I've had this blog, I've
written about this everytime my birthday is coming up. Maybe they're
just curious, or they have a nosy personality. I don't know. The
question per se doesn't bother me, what bothers me is how some people
ask it, like I'm to be pitied because I'm not married yet. Ugh! Hello?
I don't need your pity. Of course, I'd like to get married one day, but
I'm not rushing and I'm not worried, so why should you be? It's not
like I'll be miserable if I'm not married. Can't I be single, fabulous
and love it? ;)Sometimes I think about the what ifs, and then
I'd realize that if it's meant to be, then it will happen. Does that
sound fatalistic? :p I guess so, but I just like to take things as they
come.
I was talking to Clare a few days back and I mentioned that
I'm a bit scared of turning 30. Not because I'm not married yet, but
because I'm not anywhere near the goals I've set upon turning this
age. I feel like there's so much I can accomplish but I haven't yet,
and I'm getting a bit impatient. Classic quarter life crisis. Aren't I
over it yet? Hehehe!
I think this Holy Week is a good time for me to reflect on it. :)
It's officially the start of summer here. I feel the sweltering heat
already and it's driving me batty. There's a light breeze outside, but
it's also quite warm. It doesn't help much in cooling off, though. That
just means one thing: BEACH, here I come!
We're having our company outing next Friday, but I'm still thinking if I'd go. I want to go to the beach, pero hindi ko pa feel sumama sa outing. I'll make a decision this weekend. :)
March
1 is not only the official start of summer (for me, that is). It's also
Mom & Dad's 31st Wedding Anniversary and my cousin Geebee's 25th
birthday. Oh, and don’t forget, it’s also Ash Wednesday today, the
start of the Lenten Season.
It's a bittersweet day today.
Dad
and I went to Loyola Memorial Park, Sucat this morning, even if we were
there last Sunday (we’re there every Sunday morning). Siempre, we
should be there today coz it’s their 31st Wedding Anniversary. We
brought red roses and prayed.
I felt sad as I looked at my dad
while he was praying. But off course, I couldn’t show him I was crying
silently. He’d just be sadder if he did see me. Dad was smiling while
he was praying. I took that to mean that he was probably replaying in
his mind all the wonderful things that happened to him and mom over the
years.
Sometimes I’m so caught up with my own feelings that I
tend to forget that it’s harder for my dad that mom’s gone. My dad’s an
extrovert and he’s the life of the party, but when it comes to
emotional stuff, he’s not too big on words. He’s not as demonstrative
as mom was, but you can see in his eyes how he feels. Intense tumingin si Daddy.
I
could count in one hand the times I’ve seen my dad cry openly. That
doesn’t mean he doesn’t cry, but I think it’s because his generation
was brought up with the belief that men don’t cry. He’s always been the
strong one, so when I see him cry in the open, I know he’s really
hurting.
This morning when we were at mom’s grave, I saw him
wipe his tears, but there was this bittersweet smile on his face. Like
he was thinking what if they’re still together. And it just broke my
heart seeing that.
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Sometimes I force
myself to write happier things, but then I'd realize that grief can't
be rushed. People grieve in different ways and at varying timeframes. I
express my grief in writing and one day (in the very near future :p) I
hope I'll wake up feeling lighter and happier. Which doesn't mean I've
forgotten our loss, but that I've accepted it completely. :)
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I
greeted my cousin earlier and I jokingly said that she's already 25 and
that she's getting old. I forgot that she could say this: "If 25 is old, what do you call 30? 31st anniv nila mommy mo diba? Ibig sabihin sa birthday mo Ate Jen, 30 ka na. Hahaha!" Shyems...
oo nga pala, I'll be 30 next month. For a few seconds there, I couldn't
think of an appropriate response. Hahaha! Then I said, "Ok lang, nasa calendar pa naman ako." :p
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